No, that’s not what I think you’re thinking because we haven’t posted a blog entry in such a long time, it’s an idiosyncrasy of London speechifying I’d like to draw to your attention to. The customary pleasantry “How are you?” is more often than not replaced with the above in this town and it still never fails to disconcert me. ‘Why, do I look that bad/sick/badly dressed/deranged?’ I ask myself, and, confused, pause before answering. Which perplexes the poor person doing the asking (who isn’t slightly interested in any answer other than the standard “I’m ok”) and probably makes them wonder whether I am actually alright. Somehow this question and its companion “Are you ok?” (the correct answer for this one is “I’m alright” as far as I can work out) seems to proscribe never feeling better than ok, so I’ve now taken to answering with marvellouses and topses and wonderfuls, which takes everyone aback.
And I too was taken aback the other day when shopping for bedlinen. English people have the quaintest names for pillowslip sizes. Not content with standard pillow, European pillow, throw pillow, pillowsham and whatnot, they have many, many, more. Here are two of my favourites – the housewife pillow, which, as it turns out, is the same as a standard pillow (no frills for her) and the boudoir. Due to time constraints I didn’t find out what the boudoir was, but in the interests of thorough journalism I may be compelled to go shopping this weekend…
